Israel Schnute's

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Traffic Delays on parkway due to disabled vehicle

In Uncategorized on September 27, 2017 at 3:18 pm

People traveling the yet-to-be-named parkway this morning hit a jam as the road merged into one-lane. Evidently, if your viewer crashes just right, some vehicles suffer mechanical issues.



For all your needs

In Uncategorized on September 20, 2017 at 3:31 pm

Fair prices for stocking up on ice cream and cigarettes to last an entire shift.


We don’t know who started the double-parking but…

In Lapara, Uncategorized on September 17, 2017 at 9:27 pm

…because of the prim crisis this time  of year with the overlapping seasons, cars have been spotted double parking.



Next posting will be the town updates.  We’ve been experimenting with trying to get video to record in town.

Also, get ready for a big Halloween announcement.  As soon as I get one link fixed.

City Benefactor resolves the Sloth Crisis

In Uncategorized on September 8, 2017 at 2:43 pm

With no one able to resolve the Lapara town crisis, the cities business community stepped up to resolve the episode of the sloth.  After much investigating, and planning, they decided to solve the problem head-on, in a bold manner…a very risky manner.

The owner of Clownski’s Department Store, enlisted the help of the Blue Beetle to truck in a fully-loaded Ice Cream Bar!  Coaxing the sloth over, Mr. Clownski himself, performing his civic duty, and the Blue Beetle satisfied the sloth with a fully loaded Ice Cream Sundae loaded with jimmies.



Fully satiated, the sloth has promised to stop causing problems in town.  The city is expected to be cleaned up soon, and power restored shortly.

Mr. Clownski has shown, that to satisfy all your needs, to always go to Clownski’s Department Store first!  We’ve earned a loyal customer, and we hope you will become loyal too.

Do as the sloth does, and say, “I got it at Clownski’s!”



Lapara updates 8/25

In Uncategorized, Weekend update on August 25, 2017 at 4:55 pm
  1.  Added a bus layover area, bus stop, and painted a line in the street to separate the running lanes.


2. Since the High-Line Park has become permanent and not seasonal, the Lapara State Building sign has been moved to Railroad Avenue from Lapara Blvd. for better visibility.


3) I noticed that on some graphics cards or settings my concrete pavement clashed with, and didn’t look proper with the other concrete blocks I was using.  Therefore, I redid the frontage roads and tunnel entrance on the yet to be named highway (possibly just an extension of Viaduct Blvd.)


Sloth siege continues

In Lapara, Uncategorized on August 24, 2017 at 6:17 pm

Not having luck with the original plan of “waiting for the whole thing to blow over”, the national guard was called upon to take action.


Never having successfully completely an emergency sloth rampage drill, the guard gave it the ole college try, and went on the defensive…


…but was stumped.


(Caption: Commuter on the transit bus captured this terrifying scene during the evening Rush Hour.)

In lieu of a successful resolution, public works have placed generator lights throughout the afflicted area and are hoping that tensions simmer down in the Fall.


Invasive species takes root in town

In Lapara, Uncategorized on August 23, 2017 at 10:55 am

A mysterious spore came down off the mountains and have spread throughout town.  This invasive weed takes the peculiar form of a sofa…


The Grand Lapara Hotel & Ballroom

In Uncategorized on February 9, 2016 at 6:22 pm

Brrrr… Baby, its cold outside!

So, with that in mind, why not rent a cozy room at the Old Grand Lapara Hotel?

With winter still upon us, and the snow piling higher and higher with no end in sight, cabin fever starts to set in and slowly over take us, spurring us into action!

Vacation time!

But if you are the polar bear type and love the old city-scape, then look no further!

Grand Lapara Hotel & Ballroom offers you all the most modern amenities, including fully functional bath. All G rated!


Also included, carrier pigeon! Got a message for that special someone? Then let our expert messenger do all the work for you!

love is in the air_011

Contact Levi Clownski for more information.

Also at your disposal, our newly installed courtesy phones!

Need fresh towels? Call down to the front desk. There a helpful clerk will cater to whatever you need.

Come check us out!


Love, as well as Snow is in the Air!

In Uncategorized on February 9, 2016 at 5:50 pm

Happy Valentines from Historic Olde Lapara Towne, home of the Armchair Destinations Magazine.

The sun slowly begins to set on this fine, cold, SL day, as our established blogger takes a moment to luxuriate at the Lapara drugstore and sodabar; a refreshing grape soda pop in hand.

love is in the air_001

Lapara Drugstore and Soda bar

love is in the air_006

On your next ride on the rails, stop by town and enjoy a nice treat. The Lapara drugstore and soda bar offers up all the delectible delites one fancies.

While enjoying a nice slice of heavenly apple pie, or a scoop of your favorite flavor of shaved ice, take a gander at our newest game -Tentacle Smash! It’s sure to tickle your curiosity!

See if you can beat the highest score. Leave your mark on the town!

love is in the air_005

In need of assistants? Want to contact a friend but don’t like the old fashioned IM? Look no farther!

Here at the Lapara Drugstore and Soda bar, we’re happy to present the first ever, fully functioning public payphone on the atoll! -and currently the only one!

love is in the air_007

Great for those who want to experience what life was like before cellphones and instant messaging!

All this and more, at the ever changing Olde Lapara Towne!

Come visit before all the snow is gone!

Two stages and ballrooms available

In Uncategorized on August 5, 2015 at 1:55 pm

The Lapara Metropolitan area contains two wonderful forums available for many types of events.

The Clownski Department store has a tea room with a wonderful view of the Lapara city skyline and operating trains along the El.


The new Lapara Arms hotel contains a classy ballroom with stage for your functions.  Seats may be removed and changed to various configurations.